Flaugh's Flaws

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Regrets

I do not usually talk about regrets, because honestly, I do not have many. I'm a firm beliver that everything I've done in my life has brought me to where I'm suppose to be. But with hearing about my Aunt Val's death one regret keeps popping up and sitting right at my heart. And its not knowing my dad's side of the family. Okay, I know them. I know I have 3 uncles 6 aunts (4 now) and I know I have lots of cousins. Cousins who have grown up and had their own kids, meaning more cousins. Which I'm sorry to say I havent met. My dad's family lives in Minnesota. And as you know I grew up in North Carolina. When I was younger, before we moved to Europe we use to go once a year to visit, usually every summer. And when I was young age didnt really matter. I mean of course my 15 year old cousins didnt want to play with a 8 year old, but the ones who were 10 didnt seem to mind. But once we got shipped to Germany it seems like the memories I have are few and inbetween. The last time I remember going to Minnesota was for Christmas, I cant remember the year. I was over whelmed, by this huge family where everyone got together for Christmas dinner. I mean huge. And that was before all the kids got married. So here I am 30, and the last time I saw my family was Sept 11, 2002. We went to Minnesota for a family reunion. 5 years ago. A lot has changed in five years. Five years ago, was the first time that my dad's family saw me as an adult. And now, my aunt has died and all I can do is wonder how to fix the time that I have now. None of my dad's family has met Scott, or Tanner. I mean I send letters and pictures, but it never seems enough. I hate that I cant go to the funeral. And I knowing that Tanner may be 10 years old before anyone meets them. SO if I ever say I dont have any regrets, call me a liar. Because right now, this one. This BIG one is really lying heavy on me. And it just makes me sad.

Labels: Nothing but family

Posted by Heather Noel :: 4:59 PM :: 2 Comments: